Inspired.

Assalamualaikum to all muslim.
Inspired?
Yes. I'm thinking of writing over things that happen around me and inspired me?
So, that sounds right. I guess. InsyAllah.

1st thing.
Inspiration of changing identity.
Identity? Sounds hard isn' it.
I,myself struggle on the topic because it feels deep in the heart but not able to spill it off through words or sentences.
Identity describe personality. ( Tell me if i'm wrong)
Or it's the same thing. It's okay then.
So, I'm bringing the identity of being a muslim and a malay town women.
Staying in Penang, I faced a crisis at eleven I do want to wear stuff that's pretty and updated like my fellow friends. So, I never even had any thinking of wearing hijab when I was small because my surrounding keeps on bashing me towards it. As a small kid at age 11 I just on keep on showing off without any guilt.

When I grew older, I enter boarding school. Still the same. Wearing what I want and keep on doing what I would. Nothing change much. But, yeah. There's a realization over differences towards normal school and boarding school. The friends, the rules, the teachers and the way of thinking.
During my form 2 studies, I determined to changed. No more quarter pants and short sleeve. Take the advises of my aunts and uncles over their praises towards their daughters and me. Try on chilling with clothes that warm me up, cover me well :)

As I entered Form 3, I see A LOT of my friends are taking the phase of being true muslim by wearing hijab and covering aura h. I do not know how or when, but out of sudden I am wering hijab and covering. My father and mother was the great supporter. They were the happiest person. Alhamdulillah. I too, are happy for the first ever step I've made. Thanks to Allah that eventually open my heart. <3

So, this year 2014. I watch my surrounding. Staring at one's, judging them. Putting titles and smiling over goods and bads of the quality (I'm just imperfect miserable people that Allah gives a chance to live)
Later, I took a mirror and stared at my face. The image of mine. The silliest person ever exist in this world.A thought came by,
"How dare I judge a creation of Allah that's trying hard onto opening one's heart towards Him? The one that created each and everyone of you. Won't you be ashamed as if your words in the heart get spill out on judging day?"
Yes, shame. I think over the reason of my existance.

[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed – and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving. [Quran, 67:2]

I felt ridiculous. Why I never knew all such reasons. All such stories. Why do I know everything out of sudden at the age of 16? I am confused. This feeling is miserable.How to change? Can I possibly be one of those people that sacrifice for Islam? People that tend to learn more to gain more for the sake of afterlife. And I? what should my first step be?
*breathing in

I storm my head. Telling myself I should do something. I've took my 1st step. But I need to step more. improve more. Because Allah would like to see efforts while the challenging was still a lot more to be confront.
And the list are :-
 1. Being positive over thinking and judging.
 2. Say good stuff and praise the nature beauty of Allah beauty.
 3. Remain calm and scrabble words to gives the best answer.
 4.Put a happy smiley face upon others. :)
 5. Wearing loose cute big clothes on the body.
 6. Less talk. hear more. Laugh is a girls way of laughter.
and InsyAllah the list would go on through my phase of life. Amin.


Everything start within small stuff. But it end up big full of incredible meaning.
Meet again in next post. InsyAllah.
Wassalam.